Please note, this is a very whiny post. I’m feeling sorry for myself and I needed to have a rant.
I have been feeling pretty rubbish about my appearance of late, despite trying to stick to the FODMAP diet as best I can, I have been having days where I could easily pass for 6 months pregnant. No one likes it when you suddenly can’t fit into your favourite clothes, it’s instantly depressing, especially when you love clothes as much as I do. Currently I have two pairs of jeans and my dungarees that fit. Not one single other pair of trousers in my ownership can I get on. Believe me I have many. This reached its peak last night when I couldn’t get my biggest jeans on despite them usually needing a belt, equaling not a single pair fitting. Thankfully it’s Easter and pyjamas as day wear is slightly more acceptable, but still. I’ve now pinpointed the cause to the consumption of onion as a minor ingredient during lunch yesterday.
The photo on the left was taken last night, the photo on the right was this morning. Less than 12 hours apart. Same outfit. Now I don’t show my stomach off to many people especially looking the way it did last night. But I have had many friends and relatives asking me about my symptoms and how it makes me feel, so I thought this was a good opportunity to actually show what it can look like sometimes. To date this is the worst it has ever looked. I also had really bad nausea to go with it too. I couldn’t even get my shoes on myself, mostly due to the pain but also due to the fact my stomach was not only huge, it was rock solid.
Food hates me and as time progresses, I’m slowly hating more and more of it too.
A lot of the time when I’m having a bad day it can just mean spending a great deal of it in the bathroom. Or in bed with horrendous cramps that feel a lot like really bad period pains. Others can be like this. I feel conscious of coming across as moaning as I am fully aware there are people worse off than me. Friends and family in fact that are worse off. But at the same time, I have encountered many people who tell you that having such a controlled diet that avoids so many things is excessive and that you need to get over it, it’s just stress. Especially when you tell people you can’t eat any form of onion or garlic at all. So hopefully as the saying goes a picture paints a thousand words. Some people seem to be unable to understand when you say you’re not well because they can’t see physical symptoms and yesterday you seemed fine and tomorrow you might be back to normal. But when you have days like this it completely and utterly takes over everything. I have joked before about knowing all the good toilet locations but it’s true. Unfortunately it has changed my life and it’s not much fun at the moment, even shopping, my favourite thing to do when I’m sad is becoming depressing as I’m up and down in sizes more than a hot air balloon. Maybe I’ll have to stick to shoe shopping for a bit instead (Llama Supporter has just come out in a cold sweat).
So the next time someone says they’re not feeling great, please be supportive, even if you don’t fully understand how they feel. Just be a good friend to them.